God Hates Mondays

Dear Glorified Diary Blog,

Exams are nearly over! Which means that shortly my freedom will return and I'll be off to a Summer of awesomeness. Ok confession, when I said previously (you may remember) that exams were over I meant more along the lines of 2 out of 6 done. White lie. Don't judge me.

Anyways seeing as I've already bitched/moaned about exams and my horrible (some may say irresponsible) study habits and I really wanted to write a blog as I've lost my video camera and can't make any youtube videos at the moment, *deep breath* I thought I might as well share my plans for the Summer. Wow that sounded so...lame.

WELL as you know (presumably) here in Australia we are entering the Summer period. If you HAVE'NT noticed the increasingly hot and arguably disgusting weather you should check your pulse. Wonderously my ugly green house does not include airconditioning, apparently they didn't have that in 1808 so it's not included. So we've had to buy suspect quality fans from Kmart and keep them trained on each member of the family at all times. Fun. Did you know that there is now a rebate for old people to get airconditioning because of all the heatstroke cases last year? I wonder if I dress up in Stella McCarteney, wear that wig I have in my cupboard (don't ask), and called the salesman "sonny" I could get free air-con...

Let's talk about Summer in terms of Sparkle...which is sad. I don't usually define my life by the guys in it...sometimes. wow i'm going to end up a cat lady. And I hate to admit it but I'm kind of worried that some other girl will see what I see in Sparkle and we'll have a girlfriend on our hands which i would not be able to deal with. so that's my issue for the Summer...hopefully by the time I see him he'll be unhappily un-laid :) wow i'm cruel...

stay classy, melbourne. that doesn't really work...

Exams Hate Me

Dear Blog,

I should be studying right now as I am gearing up for exams, or as I like to call them Hell's answer to the ten commandments. Instead of studying for my french exam I opted to watch Dr. Phil and The Spice Girls Movie. I've also contemplated cleaning my room, the house, and volunteering full time with the Salvation Army to avoid studying.

I've already done my much feared Year 12 subject and right now all Year 11 exams seem insignificant and over-hyped. Which they totally are like totally seriously. So don't tell anyone but I haven't even touched the books...well i tried but they rewarded me by giving me a massive papercut. I chose to interpret it as a sign not to study.

Right now I'm watching a South Park marathon and trying to forget about the fact that I have terrible study habits for next year. I have no idea how I'm going to get through without my usual back up of faking illness and the 'death in the family' excuse. I have the strangest feeling that next year I will be cruising for the first term and then suddenly be like "oh shit i just lost the game" nah jks i'll study...*cough*

In other news (I have no available segue) the school that I go to, let's call them "The Overpriced Asshole School" has decided to inform its students that the year 11 and year 12 formals will be combined into a wondrous affair aptly named "The VCE formal". I tried to think of a witty acronym to fit with VCE but all the ones I could think of were overly perverted and didn't really fit with the whole deal. The point is that this is a horible terrible apocalyptic idea as the future year 11's and the future year 12's don't exactly...how you say, get along?

ANYWAYS so far I have done one measley exam out of five...the one I'm dreading the most being french. Voulez-vous couchez avec moi? or maybe do my exam?

Party On Down...To The Couch.

Movies have ruined my weekends.

According to movies/tv shows (namely skins) i should be out smoking, drinking, and "hanging out" with drunk english boys.

Instead I'm sitting here on my couch having a Quentin Tarantino marathon while eating cupcakes.

Hottt.

Sure some nights I go out and party with the cool kids but most of the time I can't be bothered and would rather watch Pulp Fiction (which is by the way one of the best movies ever). I'm one of those kids that would rather build a pillow fort than get trashed on a saturday night.

Namely because they're generally at the same fun level and pillow forts don't bring along their friend: Hangover.

Now as I sit here 'browsing' or as the general public like to call it 'stalking' on facebook the drunken photos make me feel guilty for not grabbing a bottle of tequila and injecting it directly into my forearm through an IV. Though I won't...

Because i don't have an IV.

I don't know...I guess I could go out and get wasted every weekend...

But then who would build your mum a pillow fort?

I've always wondered about fate.

What if something was destined to happen to you and there was nothing you could do to stop it? If 'fate' exists and our lives are meant to go a certain way then why bother taking risks? why bother making an effort if everything was planned out for you?

Sometimes I think we take the 'whatever will be, will be' approach simply because it means not taking responsibility for our lives.

Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to believe I am simply a chess piece in someone's greater scheme and someone's already written and published the script of my life, but it seems hard to believe.

I especially find it hard to believe that people are 'meant' to be together.

Sure people are 'compatible' but perfect for each other in every way? pass me the bucket. The reason this topic came up was that lately (it being holidays and all) I've been watching a lot of sitcoms (thank you Arena). My observation is that in every sitcom there's always the perfect couple that are 'meant' to be together. Sure, all the other people break up, sleep with each others siblings, get other people pregnant, but the 'perfect couple' somehow always prevails and everyone around them exchanges looks of knowing at how 'meant to be together' they are.

Relating this (selfishly) back to my own life. Let's concentrate on the main topic here people of Sparkle and I. Yes, we are unusually compatible and people have gone as far to say we are 'meant' for each other and the 'awesome' couple we would make. It's all well and good to exclaim at how genetically perfect people are for each other, it is quite another for them to actually get together. Casual flirting is not a relationship.

However perfect things are in theory between me and Sparkle the carry on from drawing board to manufacturing has been seriously delayed. In other words going nowhere fast (I never got that saying). Should I persevere when at the moment there has been nothing except great conversation to fuel my fantasies? Sounded dirtier than it actually is....

Whatever this push and pull my apparent 'soulmate' have is simply not on. I'll go on a 'Sparkle Detox Diet' and lose inches from my mental health.

Now if only I could stop thinking about him...

Yo-yos suck.

Dear Blog,

Things get complicated especially when your immune system is compromised. I've been sick for a total of 4 days and I feel like death warmed up, on a stick, over an open fire. I have realised that one of my other posts was about illness...and now i also realise I should be taking more vitamin C.

My relationship with Sparkle (see below) is still confusing me. One day I think I should let it go, move on, go where the wind takes me etc. then the next he's made a surprising effort and I feel the melting feeling again. It's a constant game of tug of war and I'm on the losing end.

He's sweet, awesome, and really funny and we would be kind of awesome together but his attention fluctuates.

I really wonder whether it's all worth it as I watch crappy shows on Nickelodeon, trying to stem the mucus running out of my nose. I really don't know if maybe I'm looking into this too much and me and him can really only exist casually, or if I seriously talk about him way too much...but this whole week of staying at home has really given me a LOT of time to mull things over.

It's really an indication of my intelligence that I've had four whole days to think about this situation and still haven't come up with a solution. Wow, I'm a regular Einstein.

Apart from that my illness has pretty much cleared up and I'm coming back to school tomorrow which should cure my craziness at being locked up in the house all week. On the downside I come to school facing a mountain of homework that in watching tv all the time I haven't completed.

Exciting news: Tomorrow our school finds out whether who got school captain, arts captain, debating captain etc. I actually have bitten my fingernails down to the cuticles in anticipation, I really REALLY want arts captain...well more than private health care. which is a LOT.

anyways tissues and yo-yos. both my enemies of the day.

Romance: Keep away from teens

Dear Blog,

I feel like a sad sad individual when I write out my problems for the whole of cyberspace to see but it makes me feel better so shut up self-conscious. Sparkle (mentioned previously in my blogs) has taken a hop skip and a jump into my heart. Wow that was lame..

The only problem is now I'm taking LI (love interest) to the formal who I now realise is a massive asshole with mummy issues. Wow, can i pick em?

With the prospect of Sparkle slipping further and further away I have been overcome by a sinking feeling. To describe it accurately it's kind of like your whole body is slowly melting into the ground below. I actually don't have a proper name for it (it wasn't in any of my primary school books: happy, sad, angry, no horrible apocalyptic sinking feeling) so i'll just call it 'the sinking feeling'.

So right now i'm sitting alone in my room desperately needing a Sex and the City marathon, listening to Death Cab for Cutie, pathetically wishing my life was different. I even considered praying but I'm sure anyone up there has better things to do than watch me mope myself to death.

Apart from general romantic misery, my school life isn't exactly at it's peak at the moment either. Every year I encounter 'the rut' or the period where I physically can't make myself do work. It's like my brain (bless it) is on strike and only thinks of facebook, msn, and youtube. Now is that time for me and frankly it couldn't come at a worse time. Now, when I can invest all my negative mopey energy into work I am physically unable to.

This, forces me to confront my feelings and sit here listening to crappy emo music while wishing I was watching Sex and the City. Great.

Wow what a great weekend. It has a little bit of everything: tears, love, and emo music. Awesome.

Tissue lover

My immune system is a candle in the wind.

Today if you live in Melbourne, pay attention, and read my blog all these things unlikely to happen all at once, you may notice that I should be in school. Well I'm not.

My white blood cells decided to make use of that pent up annual leave and ran off to the Bahamas leaving me to fight the Winter flu germs solo.

Of course I lost.

So now I'm stuck here in my house with nothing to do except sniff and pop Soothers like it's 1989. My mum (bless her) left me to fend for myself and my french exchange student is watching FOXTEL something I'd be glad to join her in if I wasn't too weak to move anything except my fingers.

But some good has come out of this vile malady. The French teacher (nazi) has been piling upon us mountains and mountains of homework expecting us to have done it all to absolute perfection, and if not she shoots you.

Ok exaggeration, but she yells at you a lot and being afraid of loud noises, yelling makes me feel like jumping out a window (onto a cushion).

So i've worked out how to use my mac's calendar and made a schedule for myself. It's kind of like Microsoft Outlook but prettier and harder to use. I should be able to get all my work done and some for other subjects if I ever begin. Which I don't want to.

Oh and by the way LI (love interest) and I are going to the formal together...make of it what you will. Or don't. Whatever.

glorified diary. xx

Fool's Gold

Bonjour tout le monde

I have recently acquired a french exchange student. Apart from the casual disagreements on the quality of Australian bands and cheese it has been pretty awesome if I do say so my self. In taking her to all our (meagre compared to France's) tourist sites I saw places in Melbourne I'd never been before.

Personally everyone has to do Sovereign Hill at least once. I did when i was about ten and surly. I was angry at having to walk/drive for so long and the stupid costumes were itchy and made me look like Julie (masterchef) on a bad day with no medication. By the way, Justine should have won. This time, the costumes still made me look like I needed an obesity intervention but I actually enjoyed looking like an angry barmaid with PMS. In all my time I had forgotten the awesomeness of Ballarat...well Sovereign Hill but who goes to Ballarat for anything else?

Honestly travelling back in time was pretty good. The only downside was that now that I'm not a child anymore the place seriously shed it's magic. Between the tour guide subtly revealing to me that they put all the gold in the river (I found some) and that there was never gold at Sovereign Hill, and telling me his life story his 1950's character was kind of screwed.

Ok, so the place looks kind of tacky from my teenage point of view and my french girl's enthusiasm was lukewarm. I still had fun and would defend Sovereign Hill against any adversary...well, you know what I mean.

glorified diary xx

The Play

school plays are never a harmonious affair.
There's all the stress and the drama, as well as the teachers taking their jobs WAY too seriously. Lady, you're a maths teacher not freakin Guy Ritchie, if someone coughs mid-song it's not worth crucifying them for it. That comment allows for a brilliant segue into what musical we're actually doing.

Godspell.

No, I haven't heard of it either. Apparently it's about a group of hippies re-enacting the Bible story. I'm fascinated already. Though this may just me being bitter. I personally did not make the cut for the musical. I fancied myself a bit of a performer/singer/overall awesome superhero so naturally I was devastated when my name wasn't on the "call backs" list.

But my sister's was (FML). So for about a week/millenium I was furious. Last year not only had I gotten into the musical but I was a freakin soloist so don't "poo poo" me. Also our beloved academy only does a musical every two years. Next year I will have been forcably removed from the school by the education system (graduation) and won't be able to get in. Unlike me, a sad near-graduate with no future in the performing arts, the middle-school kids nearly ALL got in! And they get to stick around for the next one! *shakes fist*

I personally blame the new hot-shot drama teacher. The old one would never have let such atrocity occur! Well, she would never have done Godspell in the first place. Damn her for getting a better job at a theatre where she belongs! Damn hippies.

So I did the next best thing to actually being in the play. I got down on my hands and knees and pleaded (via email) for a position backstage. Unfortunately because Godspell is not meant to be performed on a large scale (so it's absolutely PERFECT for WHOLE SCHOOL musicals *facepalm*) so there is no need for backstage crew.

-"PLEASE" I begged the drama teacher (let's call her Miss Winterbottom)
-"sorry glorified_diary" she sighed (secretly happy to torture me)
-"I'll do anything, ANYTHING"
-"anything?"
-"yes please for the love of God I just want to be in the effing musical!"
-"fine. you're doing makeup and spot-lighting." she cackled.

Ok so not only did I get rejected from being a main, and then booted from the musical altogether, I was also kicked off backstage in favour of a woosie makeup job bossing around whiny little children. Also, spotlighting involves pretty much the same kind of thing except people scream and hate you when you screw up.

fun fun