Dude.

Dear Blog,
I am so bored at the moment that I am watching late night comedy. Enough said.
It's also from the nineties, so at least the choice in fashion is entertaining...right now I think the guy on stage is drunk so there you go. I guess it's better than the late night comedy stuff you see on Channel 31...the best example of just because you have a camera and a stoned audience at three in the morning, doesn't mean you should try stand up sonny.

Right now life is hectic (bro) with the year slowly drawing to a close. If the fact that every piece of work you've done in every single year of your schooling life is now irrelevant isn't daunting enough, exams are (don't quote me...I see you quoting me, stop.) about two-ish months away. During the SWOT vac period I plan to literally turn into a hermit; no internet, no phone, and no contact with anyone that might distract me. Some may call this a form of damaging solitary confinement, however as I have the attention span of like a two year old child (not watching Sesame Street) it's seriously the only way I can study.

The funny thing about arguably THE MOST IMPORTANT YEAR OF YOUR LIFE? jesus don't freak out i'll tell you. The funny thing is; I swear I do less work than I did a few years ago. Less work. More stress about the limited work you have. This year i've also started watching waaaaayyy too much TV. They say, your brain works less when you're watching TV than when you're sleeping. I guess this means that I'm so sleep deprived this year I subconsciously want to shut off my brain.

The next week I like to refer to as 'if there's any reason at any time in your life to kill yourself, it would be excusable this week' week. I have so many things due I'm scared to write them down...because a) there's not enough paper in my house right now and b) because I'd obviously be intimidated.
So if i survive (IF) there'll realistically be no more blogs for the next few weeks. bummmmerrrr.

Anyways, stay sharp. like a samurai sword.

Glorified Blog xx

Did Blogger Change Its Font?

Dear Bloog (intended spelling mistake),
I have just woken up from the most awesome night of TV ever. Wow I sound really sad...
ANYWAY we all know how pathetic my living habits are, now back to the most awesome thing in the world: TV.

So right now we're about to have an election. For most people this is met with a series of groans as they remember how crap it was to wait in a line for a million hours in order to throw a piece of paper in a box. Usually during an election I am uninterested and exclude ABC and SBS from my line of potential channels to watch...HOWEVER this year I have decided to become politically aware.

I don't really understand what that means...but I've been told it's my duty as a citizen of Australia by a few people so meh sure why not? From listening to the 'Great Debate' (false advertising) I have learned this from our future leaders: neither of them can answer questions.
I'm pretty sure at one point when Tony Abbot was asked what he was going to do about (I can't remember so let's just call it the Really Important Thing) the RLT he answered with:

"Well I'll tell you what I'm not going to do" Thanks.

If being politically aware means I hate both candidates then I am so politically aware it hurts...a lot. So basically a nasally red-head with weird earlobes will run our country, or a monkey. I liked it better when I didn't know...

More Importantly: 


Masterchef was totes on like oh my god. I still laugh at the fact that we had to re-schedule the political debate because the masterchef finale was on...maybe Matt Preston can run our country...we would all have compulsory cravats.
Thank GOD! (Spoiler: if you were one of the few (miniscule few) that didn't watch the finale well sorry...who am I kidding? everyone watched the finale).

Well thank GOD (again) that Adam defeated the repetitive blinking lisper known as 'Callum'.

Happy Mastercheffing,

Glorified Blog

The Serious One

Dear Blog,

I like to think back to the past.

It's something I just like to do because I think that it gives the future meaning. I thought about starting a blog about all the people I've been in love with, which would honestly make for an interesting read. I got all the way up to thinking of a title and writing a first entry until it wasn't fun anymore...it was just weird.

Every time I think back to the guy, what they were like, what drew me to them it's always different like Cadbury Snack chocolates (unintentional product placement) and I don't know writing about them specifically in a blog seems like I'm trivialising my feelings for them etc.

But wait you ask (ask it.) "Don't you write blogs about your every day life? What's the difference? Are you saying elements of your life are trivial?" Well good question.

I think you're meant to laugh at life I mean the things that happen to me are borderline ridiculous and I feel like sharing them. Relationships however odd and brief are serious dark and twisty things I personally think shouldn't really be messed with.

I will write another 'weird musings on life blog' in the next few days however,

Because I love laughing at myself.

glorified blog. xx

Two's A Crowd.

Hi there blog,

What am I doing?

Waiting for homework. That's what.

So while I'm waiting for homework I decided to talk about something I forgot to talk about yesterday. Yeah I know, great memory...handy for exams.

I was staying at my cousins house over the weekend and their (obviously inferior) cousins from 'the other' side of the family came over.

Now they're nice enough as long as you don't bring up the tender topic of marriage.

Some random we have in common is getting married at the tender age of 18 and I casually remarked that that was a bit young in my opinion.

Look I'm sorry (lie), but I know quite a few 18 year old guys and any attempt by them to get married would end in broken plates and broken hearts. So personally I think unless your boyfriend is the guy from the ricotta ad ('sometimes when I cook, I weep') you should just stick to making out in the back of his dad's Toyota instead of in the back of a black one with white ribbon.

Anywhoozle, they seemed shocked at this exclamation. Well one of them's 22 and has her second baby on the way...I should have anticipated this. Honestly sometimes I just open my mouth to breathe and words fall out.

Her response was (no joke):

"You have to get married by uni or you'll get left on the shelf."

Ok look, I'm no feminist but maybe we should have limited the vote to 'some women'. Sorry but who's shelf am I going to get left on? The shelf of not having screaming kids hitting me while I try and finish uni. Bummer...I'll dust it for you.

The thing is that not only did suffragettes just turn in each of their man-hating graves at this news, she also made me feel guilty for not being wedded myself. In fact if we're going by 'Kitchen Lover's' book (of the 1800's) I should be pushing out my 5th baby.

Oh I feel so unfulfilled.

Time I Snatched Away From The Study Monster

Dear Bloggy,

Today I got my first youtube troll (yay).

I don't know why I get a sense of satisfaction from this asian texan who decided to call me ugly, but it's more that some one actually 'watched' one of my videos that gives me the satisfaction. Moreover this (probably pmsing) person took the time to use some of his (totally valuable) life commenting my video is just plain flattering.

You gave me some time that you'll never get back buddy :)

Talking about trolls, I've pretty much been carrying a troll on my back since the beginning of the year, I like to call this little troll 'Stress' and we're pretty much going steady. When you're in year twelve son, there is not one minute when you're not working that you don't feel guilty about it.

It doesn't help that my overbearing relatives feel the need to impose on me the various 'lessons of the past' that apparently will help me pass VCE. It seems as though the second anyone realises that I'm embarking on the last year of school they feel the need to look worried and exclaim 'wow..big year". Honestly well-meaning relative, if I wanted your psychology text-book from 1986 I would ask. Except I wouldn't, because I don't want it. Ever.

Meanwhile (back at the ranch) the heavens decided that the busiest year of my life would be a great time to get me a job. So now I'm working at 'Puffy's Cream Palace' (PCP) as a casual with a pretty darn good salary if I do say so myself *50's deep man laugh*. Obviously PCP is a made up company name that I plucked from the scary place I call my mind, however I might open a PCP one day...if I ever pass year 12. The real company name shall remain a secretive secret, because I don't hate my job yet and I want to keep it.

Lovewise (not a word) I'm bored. I've gotten over the fact that Sparkle has found love in the form of a manish woman I like to call He-Man. Well, I wish He-Man and Sparkle the best in their confusing and misleading relationship (guess who wears the pants?).

Wow I just read that back and I can feel the senile old-lady bitterness radiating from that paragraph...I could delete it...meh ceebs.

Originally I kind of had a thing for another guy that's kind of floating around, but honestly I stopped myself falling off that cliff.

This year I plan to become like a monk...or a lesbian.

Nah, women are too high maintenance.

The Wonder Years

Blog Blog Blog.

The thing about being in year 12 is it's a great excuse for almost anything. You adopt the sleeping patterns of a six year old, and pretend to do as much work as a middle aged man in his forties who browses dating sites in his spare time. Right now we're literally on top of the food-chain, and not to sound like a power hungry maniac but I kind of like it.

Apart from the stressful meltdowns and bitching. But that's ok because I can pretty much have PMS symptoms every day and blame it on year 12...some harried looking teacher will rush to my assistance. Guaranteed.

All these perks almost make me want to stick around for a bit longer than 3 terms...almost. I can't really imagine a life without an 8 hour school day because honestly I've never really had one. The concept of waking up late and dragging myself to Uni if I feel like it seems like some kind of awesome slacker dream.

And then I wonder if maybe I'm missing something key and crucial about school. Every person old enough to remember when cassettes were revolutionary tells me that highschool was the best time of their life.

This makes me apprehensive because:

a) Highschool was not THAT great

b) This means that my highschool experience was somehow tainted

c) Going with 'old person's' theory it can only get worse from here

And I really hope it gets better from here...because I'm really at the 'mediocre/content I guess' scale of existence and it would be great to get that pushed up to an 'awesome'.

If not, I can always find Christopher Lloyd, a car that travels in time, and go back to the future and change everything...

Wow that was easy.