Moving House

I decided to be all nice and convenient and move my blog.
Here's where it is now for the two people that I know would be devastated without it.

Limbo Land

Dear Blog,

Halfway through the second year of university and I'm dreading the end. Because like the end of high school once you finish university you are expected to do something with your life, and that is a concept my friend that I do not like.
In my current state I am able to pass by jobless, carless, and prospectless without really inciting any kind of questioning or lectures. However, once you hit 20 (only a matter of months away for yours truly) you have to start becoming a real person. At least that's what I've been told.

In the way of becoming a real person I've been trying to develop both my careers as an artist and a writer. In the ways of writing I have failed miserably but seem to be doing ok on the art front. My sister and I started an art blog (on a rival site *blasphemy*!) which is doing surprisingly well. Alas these seeds are nowhere near ready enough for me to reap a career off so I have to admit that yes, it is not looking good. Pair that with my insanely vague first degree and confusing second degree and you have a recipe for living in a refrigerator box behind a Dick Smith. I better learn how to play a ukulele and buy a scraggly dog as a companion.

One thing that I can congratulate myself on is the increase in the amount of time I spend out of the house. This is partially due to the fact that I am now housing a French exchange kid (again) and I don't really want her to see how sloth-like I really am. Unfortunately now that I'm going for coffees, seeing artistic movies I pretend to understand, and eating a ridiculous amount of desserts my bank balance is looking very sad indeed. Being sociable comes at a price.
My new French sibling (let's call her Croissant) has also opened my eyes to how much of a boring sheltered existence I lead. My idea of a good time is a cup of tea, Masterchef, and pyjamas. Her idea of a good time is smoking, weed, and ten hour sex sessions which I found daunting and strangely impressive ("don't you have errands to run?").

I've spoken excessively about how much of an old lady I am but this now seems to be truly validated by Croissant. Even more so now that I have as many romantic interests as a eunuch (I have been watching alot of Game of Thrones). I don't know if I have impossibly high standards or I just hate everyone. The cause seems to be that I consume too much media and have an unrealistic expectation of men. I would never admit this out loud because I would immediately slap anyone who told me I didn't live up to the expectations of women set out by magazines. I guess that while the way women think men never find them thin or attractive enough due to the media may be valid, we females are essentially guilty of the same crime. Last week I found a (quite cute and friendly in hindsight) guy so uninteresting that I ditched him in favour of getting another five dollar shot I knew would taste terrible. I felt really guilty about it later but maybe he would have had a better chance if he had burst through the window with a machete and whisked me away at the last minute from incoming evil zombie ninjas.

Oh god I'm insane. Bring out the straight jacket.

Ah Life Why Haven't You Figured Yourself Out Yet?

Bonjour Blog,
I haven't called/written/or smoke signaled to you lately...stop making me feel so guilty! Jeez you're smothering me!
So basically I'm a university right now studying my life away...for two weeks of the year. I have a bucketload of spare time on my hands and really not all that much to do with it. I mean I like going out but that only kills the night time and during the day I can slowly feel myself turning into Howard Hughes.

Leaving school was surprisingly easy, after exams I never wanted to set foot in that place again. I think I've had enough private girl school drama for one lifetime or several. The only bad thing about leaving school is the sudden and unwanted responsibility that comes along with freedom. I am now expected to drive, get a job, and begin plans for moving out and actually starting my life...before leaving it all behind to get married and have 2.5 children.
Job hunting is surprisingly more difficult than I imagined. In my mind I'd just climb onto the roof of my house yell 'I WANT A JOB' and someone would pull up with a pile of cash and offer me one. Now that I think about it that could be the beginning of some horrible 'I got sold into the sex slave trade' story.

Anyway I'm cheerfully unemployed.
I'll get back to you soon with some other irrelevance..

Dude.

Dear Blog,
I am so bored at the moment that I am watching late night comedy. Enough said.
It's also from the nineties, so at least the choice in fashion is entertaining...right now I think the guy on stage is drunk so there you go. I guess it's better than the late night comedy stuff you see on Channel 31...the best example of just because you have a camera and a stoned audience at three in the morning, doesn't mean you should try stand up sonny.

Right now life is hectic (bro) with the year slowly drawing to a close. If the fact that every piece of work you've done in every single year of your schooling life is now irrelevant isn't daunting enough, exams are (don't quote me...I see you quoting me, stop.) about two-ish months away. During the SWOT vac period I plan to literally turn into a hermit; no internet, no phone, and no contact with anyone that might distract me. Some may call this a form of damaging solitary confinement, however as I have the attention span of like a two year old child (not watching Sesame Street) it's seriously the only way I can study.

The funny thing about arguably THE MOST IMPORTANT YEAR OF YOUR LIFE? jesus don't freak out i'll tell you. The funny thing is; I swear I do less work than I did a few years ago. Less work. More stress about the limited work you have. This year i've also started watching waaaaayyy too much TV. They say, your brain works less when you're watching TV than when you're sleeping. I guess this means that I'm so sleep deprived this year I subconsciously want to shut off my brain.

The next week I like to refer to as 'if there's any reason at any time in your life to kill yourself, it would be excusable this week' week. I have so many things due I'm scared to write them down...because a) there's not enough paper in my house right now and b) because I'd obviously be intimidated.
So if i survive (IF) there'll realistically be no more blogs for the next few weeks. bummmmerrrr.

Anyways, stay sharp. like a samurai sword.

Glorified Blog xx

Did Blogger Change Its Font?

Dear Bloog (intended spelling mistake),
I have just woken up from the most awesome night of TV ever. Wow I sound really sad...
ANYWAY we all know how pathetic my living habits are, now back to the most awesome thing in the world: TV.

So right now we're about to have an election. For most people this is met with a series of groans as they remember how crap it was to wait in a line for a million hours in order to throw a piece of paper in a box. Usually during an election I am uninterested and exclude ABC and SBS from my line of potential channels to watch...HOWEVER this year I have decided to become politically aware.

I don't really understand what that means...but I've been told it's my duty as a citizen of Australia by a few people so meh sure why not? From listening to the 'Great Debate' (false advertising) I have learned this from our future leaders: neither of them can answer questions.
I'm pretty sure at one point when Tony Abbot was asked what he was going to do about (I can't remember so let's just call it the Really Important Thing) the RLT he answered with:

"Well I'll tell you what I'm not going to do" Thanks.

If being politically aware means I hate both candidates then I am so politically aware it hurts...a lot. So basically a nasally red-head with weird earlobes will run our country, or a monkey. I liked it better when I didn't know...

More Importantly: 


Masterchef was totes on like oh my god. I still laugh at the fact that we had to re-schedule the political debate because the masterchef finale was on...maybe Matt Preston can run our country...we would all have compulsory cravats.
Thank GOD! (Spoiler: if you were one of the few (miniscule few) that didn't watch the finale well sorry...who am I kidding? everyone watched the finale).

Well thank GOD (again) that Adam defeated the repetitive blinking lisper known as 'Callum'.

Happy Mastercheffing,

Glorified Blog

The Serious One

Dear Blog,

I like to think back to the past.

It's something I just like to do because I think that it gives the future meaning. I thought about starting a blog about all the people I've been in love with, which would honestly make for an interesting read. I got all the way up to thinking of a title and writing a first entry until it wasn't fun anymore...it was just weird.

Every time I think back to the guy, what they were like, what drew me to them it's always different like Cadbury Snack chocolates (unintentional product placement) and I don't know writing about them specifically in a blog seems like I'm trivialising my feelings for them etc.

But wait you ask (ask it.) "Don't you write blogs about your every day life? What's the difference? Are you saying elements of your life are trivial?" Well good question.

I think you're meant to laugh at life I mean the things that happen to me are borderline ridiculous and I feel like sharing them. Relationships however odd and brief are serious dark and twisty things I personally think shouldn't really be messed with.

I will write another 'weird musings on life blog' in the next few days however,

Because I love laughing at myself.

glorified blog. xx

Two's A Crowd.

Hi there blog,

What am I doing?

Waiting for homework. That's what.

So while I'm waiting for homework I decided to talk about something I forgot to talk about yesterday. Yeah I know, great memory...handy for exams.

I was staying at my cousins house over the weekend and their (obviously inferior) cousins from 'the other' side of the family came over.

Now they're nice enough as long as you don't bring up the tender topic of marriage.

Some random we have in common is getting married at the tender age of 18 and I casually remarked that that was a bit young in my opinion.

Look I'm sorry (lie), but I know quite a few 18 year old guys and any attempt by them to get married would end in broken plates and broken hearts. So personally I think unless your boyfriend is the guy from the ricotta ad ('sometimes when I cook, I weep') you should just stick to making out in the back of his dad's Toyota instead of in the back of a black one with white ribbon.

Anywhoozle, they seemed shocked at this exclamation. Well one of them's 22 and has her second baby on the way...I should have anticipated this. Honestly sometimes I just open my mouth to breathe and words fall out.

Her response was (no joke):

"You have to get married by uni or you'll get left on the shelf."

Ok look, I'm no feminist but maybe we should have limited the vote to 'some women'. Sorry but who's shelf am I going to get left on? The shelf of not having screaming kids hitting me while I try and finish uni. Bummer...I'll dust it for you.

The thing is that not only did suffragettes just turn in each of their man-hating graves at this news, she also made me feel guilty for not being wedded myself. In fact if we're going by 'Kitchen Lover's' book (of the 1800's) I should be pushing out my 5th baby.

Oh I feel so unfulfilled.